boundaries blur. old memories come rushing in, slowly at first, but gradually gaining moementum and heaviness. bringing in feelings of a painful love, long forgotten and long removed from.
i want to hold on to it. make it mine. erase from that love all that wont fit in. and fill it with the most possessive love i could muster. keep it caged. for me to touch it tenderly when i wish to. take it out and stare at it till my heart fills up with joy for being the owner of such a love.
but i dont. absolutes float in heavily. irrevocability spreads its wings and settles down. the pain rushes in from the gut and disperses over the chest in the most uncomfortable manner possible. and i sit stunned and afraid at all the churning that my heart can conjure up at the most unexpected times.
for distractions the mind and heart craves.
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